The Role of Rituals: From New Zealand to IrelandCultural traditions play a key role in shaping psychological wellbeing, providing time-tested ways to navigate grief.
The
‘Poroporoaki’ tradition of the Māori people in New Zealand is a formal, solemn ritual for addressing the deceased (
tūpāpaku), allowing everyone to openly express their feelings, offer thanks, or seek forgiveness. In palliative care, this experience provides a supportive ‘space’ for expressing grief, helping participants begin their bereavement journey.
Another tradition comes from the opposite side of the world. In his book
My Father’s Wake, Kevin Toolis reflects on what the world can learn from the Irish ritual of bidding farewell to the departed. In contrast to the tendency to ‘hide’ death, the Irish wake brings it back to the heart of the community. It is not merely mourning, but a social act of unity, in which presence at the body, storytelling, and even laughter help loved ones accept the reality of loss. Such traditions remind us that openness in the face of death makes us more human and less alone in our sorrow.
ehospice article featuring staff from North Haven Hospice in Whangārei, New Zealand, discussing the
‘Poroporoaki’ tradition:
https://ehospice.com/editorial_posts/poroporoaki-a-formal-ritual-of-farewell-for-tupapaku-the-deceased/ ehospice material on
My Father’s Wake by Kevin Toolis, with a link to the original source:
https://ehospice.com/editorial_posts/how-the-irish-teach-us-to-die-kevin-toolis/